Thriving...in Spite of It

The other day, while rummaging through my closet for the ever-elusive "other shoe," I found a box full of things I brought home from my office when I retired. There it was -- the book she gave, as a parting gift -- "Oh, the Places You Will Go!" "Yes, gladly out the door, I thought."  It was trendy at the time for mentors to make symbolic gifts of this inspirational Dr. Seuss book. I'm not sure if I hate the sight of it because it was so trite at the time, or because I still have a little twinge of un-forgiveness for the many other thing she gave me --self-doubt, nerve-racking days, and sleepless nights. I really need to get over that. Something rather earth-shattering occurred to me this morning, as I prayed and thanked God for His goodness. As humans, even as good, "God-fearing" people, we often make mistakes. We hurt people unintentionally deeply--without even knowing it.  If we, who are well-meaning, and generally kind, can sometimes un...

So, you made it through Monday, presumably... How many days have we wished away, that could have been significant in our life--or the life of another--if we had only "exerted ourselves," as Jane Austen so beautifully described it? So many things we know we should do--yet we don't. Yesterday, my husband traveled hundreds of miles for a 30-minute funeral, but I had encouraged him to go. It was important to the family, overall, but especially meaningful to the immediate family of his great uncle, who passed away.  Many times in our lives, we have these opportunities. Sometimes we take them; sometimes we do not. I have found that I always regret NOT going, rather than the reverse. It made me think -- it's time to look at our social and familial obligations in a different way. Once I read something written by a life coach who encouraged the philosophy of taking each day more deliberately--especially in the way we verbalize it. Instead of "I have to go to the st...

(Minor spoiler alert, but I won't reveal much detail) I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the latest Hunger Games movie with my daughter this week. Of course, as a nervous snacker, I always eat way too much popcorn, and find myself in desperate need of Excedrin, Alka-Seltzer and a massage afterwards...the price of being drawn in! I can't help being enthralled by the courage and tenacity of Katniss--though she struggled with emotions, her ultimate decision was always to stay true to her values, even in the face of death. It is easy to draw parallels to our own situations. Though the threats are less extreme, we can easily identify with the fear, loneliness and loss that come with the sacrifices of leadership. At the time, I was particularly moved by the scene where Katniss and her comrades are sitting next to a beautiful river, splitting rations and enjoying the peaceful scene. While the Mockingjays whistled through the lush cavern, her friends asked her to sing--in a way she coul...

Enjoying the company of my amazing 16-year-old daughter at a camp retreat recently. The richness of our relationship now outweighs everything I missed when she was little and I was working mom.  Looking around at the women I know with mountains of to-do's for Thanksgiving day, I wonder that a day intended for enjoyment could become so exhausting. Are we overcompensating? Being a working mother creates many challenges, but I think the number one issue is guilt. I missed my baby's first words, first steps, and all those things that make motherhood so wonderful, because I had to work.  It still bothers me, even though I was blessed enough to retire early to enjoy their teenage years with full force, volunteering at the school, going on field trips, and being there to facilitate lots of get-togethers and outings with friends. In the early years, however, because I was away at work every day, I found myself overextended, over-scheduled, and exhausted from trying to be supe...

Every day, we set out to follow someone or something, we will be led in the right direction. We follow a mentor, follow our instincts, follow the crowd...Whether your journey leads you to follow the yellow brick road to home, or follow the rainbow to the pot of gold, it's a path of faith, with the outcome dependent upon your perceptions of the best way to get there.   I stumbled upon an old legend about a French monastery known throughout Europe for the extraordinary leadership of a man known only as Brother Leo. Chasing down the legendary leader in hopes that he would impart some of his gift of wisdom, several monks began a pilgrimage to visit Brother Leo. Traveling together, their group dynamics led to some conflicts, as is always the case. Who would fetch water? Who would build the fire? Who would cook and serve? This was a group sadly in need of a leadership workshop. They were missing the key to leadership, and conflict would rise at every corner. On the third day the...

Ok, I'll come clean. I love spy shows. After years of being satisfied with a good mystery, I'm intrigued by the heftier mix of intellectual and psychological challenges...a mental P90X! Perhaps you have a similar indulgence? As a friend was relating some workplace drama to me yesterday at church, my mind could not help spinning out a scenario much like the intrigues and deceptions played out my favorite spy show. It's not a far-fetched analogy -- the lengths to which women will go -- and to the depths to which they will descend -- to ensure they are secure in their little hierarchies! You have your assassinations---of character, your fight scenes--mostly verbal, and, most of all, an array of characters who seek your trust, but do not deserve it. Watch your back. In an arena filled with such treachery, it's easy to feel lonely, insecure, and robbed of all peace. What's supposed to be home base--a safe place--can flip into enemy territory in a heartbeat; the line...

How many times have we used that as a defense, to ourselves and to others? That may have been completely accurate, in which case it does not represent the best of our character--or our temper. What provokes you? Why? Instead of shifting the blame to our provocateurs, let's look in the mirror for the moment.  When you have a sore spot, it's always somewhere you've had an injury. That specific injury may have been long ago and consciously forgotten, but the underlying resentment was left to fester beneath the surface. Do some soul searching and see what you need to forgive--and forget.  Step two--now, the spiritual equivalent of physical therapy. It's inconvenient, strenuous, sometimes painful, but effective, if you stick with it.  I'll explain. I found the word "provoke" in an unexpected context-- in a passage that instructs how to treat one another with love and respect.  Hebrews 10:22-24 "Let us hold fast the profession of our fait...