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Sense and Civility

If I had a dollar for every awkward moment precipitated by rudeness among family, friends and colleagues, I would be enjoying a ridiculously lavish retirement on my own island somewhere in the Mediterranean, with a butler, a housekeeper, lady's maid, horses, cars, with tremendous works of philanthropy...

In an age dominated by selfishness and self-centeredness, narcissism and nonsense, where celebrities proudly parade all their offenses to decent society, with the reward of awe and imitation, how can we possibly maintain any standard of decorum, even among the educated and supposedly civilized, when we have ever so gradually, but certainly, lowered the bar among Christians?

Much like the concept of being "a good Christian," the concept of being a true lady or gentleman has been grossly misconstrued--even reversed. Both have been defined as having a sense of superiority, with a self-assured judgmental outlook, and snobbish demeanor.  In both cases, people--including those who think they are ladies, gentlemen, or Christians--could not be farther from the truth.

Humble yourself. Serve others. Love your neighbor. Be kind to one another...

As his disciples debated over their own importance one day (yikes--can you believe they had the nerve to do that within earshot of Jesus? Had they not been paying attention at all?), their teacher was quick to correct them. The one who becomes the servant to all will be the greatest, he said. This concept challenges every structure of society--how we rank and measure people, placating and pursuing friendships with the goal of racking up the most impressive names to drop.

At the same time, he showed just as much kindness and hospitality to the prostitute and tax-collector (equally hated in that society) as he did to his own family, the prominent and the wealthy.

Consider this quote from Emily Post, compare it to the scripture that follows, then consider this revolutionary idea: By endeavoring to improve ourselves as ladies and gentlemen--practicing better manners--we will become better Christians, that is, better and truer examples of Christ to all the world.

Emily Post: "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others..."

Ephesians 4:32: "...be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

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