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Illusions & Delusions -- The pitfalls and stepping stones of self-image

Most of us grew up hearing about the value of inner beauty -- perhaps not as much as I did, or without as much emphasis...  I wasn't a homely girl at all, I'm told, but I wasn't at all popular. To this day, I remember the sting of the chiding cheerleaders that day they bounced into the bathroom my freshman year as I was refreshing my lipgloss. "Don't bother!" one said, and they all giggled. It would have been less painful--and less enduring--if she had punched me in the face...  It's silly how much I still think of that...

Why? Is it our vanity or our pride that is most injured by such attacks?

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us." 

(note: I am POSITIVE that my heavily educated son would be put out with me, as I almost made the error of attributing that quote to him.  He's not a Jane Austen fan, as I am.)

While recently pondering a past public speaking opportunity, I found the true source of my discomfort to have nothing to do with public speaking, in itself. The fact that I've gained a few pounds made me shy away from any such attention, and the observation or scrutiny of my appearance....well, frankly, that others might later describe me as "that short pudgy lady that spoke today." I know--silly, isn't it?

Vanity. We try to legitimize--and even give some prestige to--these feelings with terms like "self esteem" and "self-image," but, in both cases the root word is also the root cause---self.  We allow SELF to stand in the way of opportunity, undermining our own relevance and value by mere physical factors that have nothing whatsoever to do with the kind of impact we could make on the world with our knowledge and God-given talents. Could lack of self esteem actually be vanity in disguise?

I am in awe of a woman who is making an astronomical impact as the mayor of Matamoros, Mexico. She is a full-blown revolutionary, overthrowing the power of drug cartels and corrupt government officials, fearlessly defying the powers that have held the city and country captive for years. I am equally in awe of her right-hand person, her sister. This young woman is a cancer survivor, forever disfigured by the disease that destroyed the thing we are most conscious of--her face. Yet she has no qualms about appearing in public or on camera, boldly articulating their vision for change and peace in their city. She is not held back by her appearance, shocking as it may be to some people. She does not seem to care.  Shame on me. How could a let some numbers on a scale outweigh my mission?

Don't discount your personal, spiritual and professional value by mere physical traits that are irrelevant to who you really are. Don't mistake critical perception for reality. Consider who you are, and to whom you belong, and adopt a mindset that supersedes all those excuses that are holding you back. Weigh your limitations against your purpose, and let the purpose prevail.

"Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant."  -- Galatians 1:10

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